The Day After

INT. BEDROOM – MORNING

The sun shines brightly through the open windows to display a beautiful master bedroom. The walls are adorned with photos of children, all the furniture leans towards the expensive kind and the room in neat and tidy, except for one thing. The two slovenly people tangled up in the mess of sheets. DAVE and TAMARA are late 30’s and neither are looking particularly well.

Dave opens one eye and immediately winces in pain. He rolls over to look at Tamara who’s holding her face in her hands.

DAVE
Tamara, if this is what death feels like I’m not a fan.

TAMARA
Oh my God your breath stinks. Oh my God my breath stinks.

DAVE
My mouth tastes, and feels, like the fuzz you find on moldy fruit.

TAMARA
They must have put someone’s orthotics in the wine because I’m definitely getting flavours of feet.

DAVE
I don’t think I can even remember how we got home last night. I think a horse was involved? Can you remember a horse?

TAMARA
The last thing I remember was that merlot sculling contest Abby and I got into.

DAVE
Oh yeah, you won right?

TAMARA
Doesn’t feel like it right now.

DAVE
What were we thinking? We are way to old to be binge drinking like this.

TAMARA
I didn’t even drink like this when I was in my twenties. I’m actually a little impressed by us.

DAVE
You certainly know how to drink extensive quantities of wine my lady.

TAMARA
You weren’t to bad yourself. I saw the way you handled that wine bong.

DAVE
Well a thank you. Ohhh, if only it didn’t hurt so much though. The back of my eyes feel bruised.

TAMARA
I think I need to eat something greasy. Like a pizza, and some chips and gravy, and then finish it off with an egg and bacon roll.

Dave sits up a little and looks around the room.

DAVE
I would get you all of those things but I think if I stand up the floor will tilt around me.

TAMARA
You’re right, let’s just stay in bed all day.

DAVE
We should probably get up.

TAMARA
No, stay with me in bed all day.

DAVE
No, we’ve got to get up. The kids will be waiting for us.

TAMARA
Oh no, not the kids. If they come running in here right now, screaming and jumping with my head the way it is, I will throw up on one of them.

DAVE
Why did we even have children.

TAMARA
I don’t know, I really don’t know.

From outside the closed door the sound of thumping feet is heard.

DAVE
Oh no, here they come.

The door swings open and three children stand there. They look at the two in the bed and stop, shocked looks on their faces.

Tamara and Dave look back faces blank, then both panic.

TAMARA
Oh shit, Dave, we don’t have kids!

DAVE
Where are we?

TAMARA
Holy crap, this is not our house.

The pair scramble out of the covers and grab their stuff off the floor and push past the still in shock kids with a hung over smile.

DAVE
We really are too old for this.

TAMARA
Where are their parents?

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