Walking Home

EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT

A sixty something man, WALT, walks by himself down an empty street lit by street lights. A younger man walks out from the shadows and approaches Walt with a knife.

THIEF
Give me your money or I’ll stab you.

WALT
Hello.

THIEF
What? Don’t say hello I’m robbing you, you crazy old fuck.

WALT
I don’t like the swearing mate so you can knock that off right now.

THIEF
Hey don’t fucking tell me what to do old man, I’m the one with the knife here.

WALT
I see that, but if you swear at me again I’m going to take your knife and stab you with it.

THIEF
Are you fucking kidding me?

WALT
Why are you doing this?

THIEF
Why do you think I’m doing it? I want your money.

WALT
Oh, well you’re not going to get it.

THIEF
What do you mean?

WALT
I mean I’m not going to give you my money.

THIEF
But I’ll stab you.

WALT
Go ahead then because I’m not giving you my money.

THIEF
Are you crazy? Do you not see my knife.

WALT
I do and I’ve told you I’m not going to give you my money so I guess that means you have to stab me.

The thief hesitates unsure what to do.

WALT (CONT’D)
Well go on, I can’t stand here all night. I’m still hoping to get home in time to watch the mentalist.

The thief lowers the knife.

WALT (CONT’D)
Alright then. You’re not having my money and you’re not going to stab me. What do you think you should do then?

THIEF
I, I don’t know.

WALT
Well I think you should put on some man pants and go get a job. Stop being a criminal, something you clearly suck at.

THIEF
I’m not fucking qualified at any thing though am I?

WALT
I told you not to swear. And you don’t need to be qualified to be a labourer or work in a production line or any number of jobs. Stop making excuses and man up.

THIEF
I, I guess you’re right.

WALT
Of course I’m right. I’m going to go home now, watch Patrick Jane solve some crime.

THIEF
Wait, how did you know I wasn’t going to stab you.

WALT
You didn’t seem like the kind of guy who follows through on what he says.

Walt grabs the knife from the thief’s hand and stabs him in the leg with it.

WALT (CONT’D)
I am however.

The thief falls to the ground and clutches at his leg. Walt walks around him and continues down the street.

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