The Art of Conversation

INT. OFFICE – DAY

RACHEL (25) and SAM (28) sit in their shared cubicle. Each work at their computer.

SAM
You know how we have six senses? Well I read this thing the other day that said we actually have loads more than that.

RACHEL
Unless you can see dead people I think you mean five, but go on.

SAM
Well I was reading this thing on the internet.

RACHEL
Always credible.

SAM
And it said that we actually have closer to twenty one senses.

RACHEL
Right, Sam, where did you read this? Because if this is one of your conspiracy theory nonsense sites then I’m not going to participate in this conversation.

SAM
No it was one of those science sites, ‘Isn’t science fucking great’ or something like that.

RACHEL
Alright, so what were some of these extra senses?

SAM
Magnets.

RACHEL
What?

SAM
Magnets.

RACHEL
You can’t just say magnets Sam and expect me to know what that means. What are you saying?

SAM
We can detect magnets.

RACHEL
Why do I bother? Do you mean magnetic fields?

SAM
Yeah that’s right.

RACHEL
Right, well maybe say that next time. Just saying magnets is not helpful. So what, can we control metal like magneto?

SAM
No I just think it helps us get around really.

RACHEL
Alright, what else made the list?

SAM
Proprioception.

RACHEL
What’s that?

SAM
The sense that tells you where your body parts are.

RACHEL
So you can remember proprioception but before all you can say is magnets.

SAM
I like the way it sounds.

RACHEL
Fair enough. Alright that’s a good one, what else was there?

SAM
Hunger was one.

RACHEL
Oh yeah, that’s quite good, that makes sense.

SAM
Thirst.

RACHEL
Seems similar to hunger but I guess different mechanisms are involved. Alright you’ve got me now, this is actually quite interesting. Any others?

SAM
Not falling over.

RACHEL
Right, and you’ve lost me again. What do you mean? You can’t just say not falling over and expect me to know what that means?

SAM
Well just how we’re able to stand upright all the time.

RACHEL
It’s like talking to a chimp.

SAM
We can balance.

RACHEL
Okay so equilibrium. We have a sense that allows us to perceive our own equilibrium.

SAM
Yeah, so we don’t fall over.

Beat.

RACHEL
You make it really hard to talk to you sometimes Sam. Okay, so any others?

SAM
Hot and cold.

RACHEL
Alright I’m done. I can’t talk to you any more. Just tell me the link, I’ll look it up myself.

SAM
Alright, it was ‘fuck, science is good’ dot com.

RACHEL
That’s different from what you said before!

SAM
Oh, well I guess I can’t remember it then.

RACHEL
Great, perfect. Lovely talking to you as always Sam.

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