What Country Are You?

INT. LOUNGE ROOM – DAY

SAMANTHA (26) lounges over LARA (27), an Ipad in her hands as Lara reads.

SAMANTHA
What does amorous mean?

LARA
Amorous? It kind of means feeling horny.

SAMANTHA
Oh, thanks.

LARA
What are you doing?

SAMANTHA
An online quiz, I’m finding out which country I am. Oh, I got New Zealand.

LARA
What? Why?

SAMANTHA
It says because I’m adventurous and like the outdoors. You want me to do you?

LARA
Why not.

SAMANTHA
Okay, first question. If you were a holiday what kind of holiday would you be? A) An all night party, B) A camping trip, C) A relaxing beach side getaway, or D) An adventure holiday.

LARA
We’d have to say all night party wouldn’t we?

SAMANTHA
Would we? Have you partied recently?

LARA
Me? Course I have. Everyone knows I’m a party animal.

SAMANTHA
You’re currently reading a book.

LARA
Well I’m saving up my party energy aren’t I? Just click it.

SAMANTHA
Okay. Next question. On holiday what do you prefer to do A) Walk around a new city, B) Read in the park, C) Spend all night at a rooftop bar, or D) Visit the museum.

LARA
Rooftop bar, obvious.

SAMANTHA
You sure?

LARA
Yes, stop second guessing my answers. I think I know myself.

SAMANTHA
It’s just that you do visit the museum a lot and have a junior museum guide membership card, something usually only reserved for children.

LARA
Yes I like the museum, and yes I did have my last two birthdays there, but underneath I love a drink and going out. Remember that night I was so drunk the cops had to take me home, and it turned out I was only a block from my house?

SAMANTHA
That was five years ago.

LARA
Just click the rooftop bar. What’s the next question?

SAMANTHA
What kind of drink are you? A) Cranberry juice, B) Tequila shot, C) Warm glass of milk, or D) Beer?

LARA
Tequila shot.

SAMANTHA
So not warm glass of m-

LARA
Tequila. Shot.

SAMANTHA
Okay. Last question. How would you describe yourself A) Intellectual, B) Amorous, C) Adventurous, or, D) Nerdy?

LARA
Oh that’s tough, there’s two that it could be…

SAMANTHA
Intellectual or nerdy?

LARA
Amorous or Adventurous. Have you not met me before?

SAMANTHA
I have, have you?

LARA
Just click amorous so I can finish this stupid quiz.

SAMANTHA
Okay.

LARA
What did I get? Amsterdam right?

SAMANTHA
New Zealand.

LARA
What? That’s ridiculous. Who makes this quiz?

SAMANTHA
Ummm…Visit NZ.

LARA
Dammit Sam, it’s just a stupid promotional device.

SAMANTHA
Want to do another one.

Beat.

LARA
Yes.

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