Trivia Night

INT. GRIMSLEY PUB – NIGHT

A tired looking PHIL (26, the kind of guy who grooms his beard daily) sits on a stool at a round table in the middle of a warm and welcoming pub. Beside him sits ALEX (25, intelligent and likes people to know it, and LARISSA (26, often talks without thinking). Behind them are signs advertising it’s trivia night.

ALEX
Alright, what team name are we going with tonight? It needs to be good, this is the week we win.

LARISSA
Trivial pursuit?

PHIL
We used that one a few weeks ago.

LARISSA
Team trivia? No that’s shit. Trivin’ on the edge? Triviology? Triv-tac-toe? I got nothing.

PHIL
Let’s get trivial?

LARISSA
Yes, love it.

PHIL
(tiredly)
Yay.

ALEX
What’s up with you?

PHIL
I don’t know I’ve just been really fed up and grumpy lately.

LARISSA
Maybe you’re having your period?

PHIL
Ha, ha.

ALEX
You could be you know. Men go through a monthly hormone cycle same as woman. Could be your time of the month.

PHIL
Are you serious, you guys think I’m on my period?

ALEX
Well obviously you’re not actually having your period, but you could be having similar effects.

LARISSA
You’re having your MEN-stration! Oh wait, no, that’s what it always is.

PHIL
I’m not having my period!

LARISSA
I am, maybe we’ve synced up.

PHIL
We’re not syncing! Nobody’s syncing.

ALEX
Well you said you have been moody lately. Were you moody this time last month?

PHIL
Umm, the nineteenth last month? Oh shit, that’s when I started crying after seeing the photos of the dog and pig who were best friends.

LARISSA
Those photos were adorable! The pig liked to fetch sticks.

Larissa starts to tear up.

PHIL
And they shared a dog bed.

Phil starts to well up too.

PHIL (CONT’D)
Oh come on! Guys what do I do?

ALEX
Get some chocolate and ice cream and watch Bridget Jones Diary?

LARISSA
(excited)
Can I join you?

PHIL
I do have a strange urge to watch Renee Zellweger.

LARISSA
She hasn’t really done much lately. Gone the way of Meg Ryan. Tragic. But yes, let’s do it.

ALEX
How about what you do is have a beer and focus on trivia so we can actually win for once.

Behind them the TRIVIA ANNOUNCER, a middle aged man, takes the stage.

TRIVIA ANNOUNCER
Alright is everybody ready? Let’s get this started. First question. What was the name of the last Pinta Island Tortoise who died back in 2012?

ALEX
(whispered)
Oh I know this one, it was Lonesome George.

Phil sniffles loudly.

ALEX (CONT’D)
Keep it together man!

PHIL
It’s just, he was so lonesome. I know exactly how he feels. I, I don’t think I can do this guys, I need to go.

LARISSA
Bridget Jones?

Beat.

PHIL
Yes.

LARISSA
Yes! You coming Alex?

ALEX
No, I came here to win. I’ll get trivial all on my own if I have to.

PHIL
I think my nipples are getting sensitive.

ALEX
Okay, get him out of here.

Larissa takes the still teary eyed Phil by the hand and leads him out of the pub. Alex turns back to the trivia.

TRIVIA ANNOUNCER
Okay, next question. What was the name of the 2001 British romantic comedy starring Renee Zellweger?

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