Sensitive Information

INT. DOMINIC’S LOUNGE ROOM – DAY

DOMINIC BOLGER (28, athletic, happy-go-lucky) dances into his lounge room with wet hair wearing only a towel. He sings wrecking ball by Miley Cyrus at the top of his lungs, and dances past a very serious looking man (AGENT T, 40, stern) in a black suit and sunglasses, who sits it a reading chair behind him.

Dominic bends down in front of the man to pick up the TV remote. The man cringes and clears his throat.

Dominic squeals and spins around dropping the remote and covers his chest with his hands.

DOMINIC
How long have you been there?

AGENT T
For both the Miley Cyrus songs, and I believe it was Taylor Swift before that.

DOMINIC
I’m a falsetto so that’s why-

Agent T stands.

AGENT T
I’m not interested in your singing Mr. Bolger.

DOMINIC
Well I though it was pretty good- Wait! Who are you? How are you in my house?

AGENT T
I let myself in while you were in the shower, and you can call me Agent T.

DOMINIC
Seems a bit cliche.

AGENT T
I work in cliches Mr. Bolger. When people think about secret agents they’re thinking about me.

DOMINIC
Actually I think they think of James Bond.

AGENT T
He’s fictional, I’m real. They’re thinking about me.

DOMINIC
Well…

Agent T stares hard at Dominic.

DOMINIC (CONT’D)
Okay well if you’re not here to hear me sing what do you want from me?

AGENT T
I need you to come with me. We believe you may have been exposed to…sensitive information.

DOMINIC
Oh my God. Am I dying?

AGENT T
No, I just need you to come back to the base with me.

DOMINIC
Because I’m dying!

AGENT T
You’re not dying! But we need to go. Now.

DOMINIC
Pants or no pants?

AGENT T
Fine, put pants on if you must. Just make it fast.

Dominic looks across at his pants on the couch.

DOMINIC
I’m going to need to drop my towel.

Agent T sighs and turns around.

DOMINIC (CONT’D)
If I’m not dying, and I really hope you weren’t lying to me about that, what’s this sensitive information I’ve been exposed to?

AGENT T
It’s classified.

DOMINIC
It’s going to be pretty hard for me to talk about it if it’s classified.

AGENT T
I will tell you back at the base.

DOMINIC
A base. Cool.

AGENT T
Are you ready yet?

DOMINIC
The environment is once more a penis free zone if that’s what you’re asking. Do I have time to get a drink before we go?

Dominic, now clothed, walks towards the adjoining kitchen.

DOMINIC (CONT’D)
Do you like soda stream? I love soda stream.

AGENT T
NO. We’re going.

Agent T grabs Dominic by the shoulder and pushes him towards the front door.

DOMINIC
Can I get my phone?

AGENT T
No.

He pushes Dominic again.

DOMINIC
Can I get a hat?

AGENT T
No.

Another push.

DOMINIC
Can I get some shoes!

AGENT T
No!

DOMINIC
You know for someone who needs my help you’re not being very nice.

AGENT T
That’s because I’m not nice. I’m very mean, now go.

DOMINIC
Fine, but don’t think I’m believing the mean persona. I now know that you’re a fan of Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift.

With a growl Agent T pushes a shoe-less Dominic out the front door.

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