Sneaky Pizza

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

ROSS (31) sits on the edge of the queen bed and hurriedly ties his shoes. He’s dressed up in a shirt and slacks. Ross looks up at his wife MIRANDA, also dressed up, as she does her hair in front of the mirror.

ROSS
What’s the time now?

MIRANDA
Ahh, about five thirty I think.

ROSS
Good, the early we get there the earlier we can leave. Yes? We’re going to be quick tonight okay?

MIRANDA
Yeah, sure.

ROSS
Seriously, I want to be home by ten thirty.

MIRANDA
Yeah fine. I mean we’ll have to talk to a few people, they are your family after all.

ROSS
You’re right, we’ll need to go in there with a game plan. Talk to a lot of people quickly so it seems like we’ve made an impact, but then leave at ten to be in bed by ten thirty. We agreed?

MIRANDA
Yeah, sounds good to me. I’ll want to have a chat with Kath though, I haven’t seen her in ages, and your Grandma of course.

ROSS
Good point, we’ll want to get the more important conversations out of the way as early as possible. Okay, we’ll start with the Grandparents, move down to my parents and sibling, then the more important Aunties and Uncles.

MIRANDA
And Kath, she’s such a kook.

ROSS
Right, and Kath. If we give each twenty minutes we should be looking good, and if we happen to talk to anyone else well then it’s a bonus for them. Okay?

MIRANDA
Yeah, whatever.

ROSS
Twenty minutes each. That includes Kath, even if you think she’s being particularly hilarious.

MIRANDA
Yeah, yeah, yeah I got it.

ROSS
And don’t talk to my Uncle Nick. It’s impossible to have a conversation with him that lasts less that an hour.

MIRANDA
I know.

ROSS
And no playing with the kids. They’re a time commodity we can’t afford.

MIRANDA
Yeah, I got it.

Ross stands and walks over to Miranda.

ROSS
Great, because all I want tonight is to come home, get into bed, and eat pizza with you.

Miranda turns around and looks at Ross.

MIRANDA
We’re getting a sneaky pizza on the way home!

Ross puts his arms around her.

ROSS
The sneakiest.

MIRANDA
Yay.

They kiss. Ross pulls away from Miranda.

ROSS
Alright, let’s do this. Fist bump me.

Ross puts his fist out. Miranda puts her fist out and rubs his with hers, as if the fists are trying to shake hands.

ROSS (CONT’D)
No, you’re meant- Don’t worry about it. Let’s try a hands in.

Ross puts his hand out in front of Miranda. She puts her hand on top of his.

ROSS (CONT’D)
1…2…3…

They throws their hands up together.

ROSS (CONT’D)
Okay, well, we should’ve agreed on what to say but it doesn’t matter. Let’s go!

They both head for the door.

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