Extermination Evasion


FELIX (45, Italian, slightly over weight, obnoxious) sits at his desk. Prabir (20, Indian, nervous, overthinker) sits in a chair opposite him. The desk is a makeshift thing made from an old door and the room is completely cluttered with bits and pieces of all kinds of extermination equipment. Felix holds out his hands.

So what do you think Prenteen? Take it all in. It must be very exciting for you, starting as an exterminator?

Oh yeah, it’s, it’s great. I mean the people seem…nice, and all the equipment and everything. It’s just really exciting, not at all terrifying. I just can’t wait to get started! Maybe doing data entry or something?

I like you, Probaleer, you remind me of me. We’re both immigrants to this country trying to live the dream. You’re first generation, I’m second. We’re both ready to work hard and show people that even though we have different customs and foods that that’s no reason to judge us. Although I can’t stand your food. You’ve got all those cows you love so much but no cheese?

We actually do have cheese sir, we call it paneer.

You’re named after cheese?

Ahh no sir, it’s called panner, my name is Prabir, should I write it down for you or something?

Why would I need that? Anyway panner, I see myself inside you. Now I’m not a university man like you, my education came from the streets…and high school and TAFE. Will your studying get in the way of work?

No it should be fine sir, I’m doing part time study and some of my subjects can be done online. It’s amazing what you can do with the internet, there’s probably even a website now where you can learn your street smarts.

Prabir laughs nervously at his joke while Felix stares at him for a beat.

That is a brilliant idea!

Felix makes a note on a piece of paper.

I like you Procteen, you’re clearly smart, you call me sir which I love, and I think you’re going to be a good fit here.

I will sir, and I know I have to start at the bottom, and like I said I’m happy to be on the computers and do data entry or whatever you need, and for as long as it takes. Even if it means I never be a exterminator! But I’m willing to work very hard for you or my name isn’t Prabir. Which it is, Prabir.

Prabir says his name slowly, sounding it out.

You know what? I’m going to do you a favour. Normally you’s start with all that paper pushing stuff but I’m a business man, I know a good thing when I see it. I’m going to put you out on an extermination job today. What do you think of that?

Prabir looks horrified.

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