Minty Fresh

INT. BATHROOM – DAY

MICHELLE (25, uppity, hair in a tight bun) holds a toothpaste tube up to her room mate’s, WALTER (27, thoughtless, long surfer hair), face. He checks himself out in the mirror as she does so.

MICHELLE
The toothpaste will dry out! I am sick of telling you this. Really, how hard is it to put the cap back on? It’s right there!

Walter ignores, reaches into his pocket, pulls out something, and puts it in his mouth.

MICHELLE (CONT’D)
What was that? Are you eating something? Don’t eat while I’m yelling at you!

WALTER
It was just a mint.

MICHELLE
Well then don’t eat a mint while I’m yelling at you! Why are you eating a mint anyway?

WALTER
Because I couldn’t be bothered to brush my teeth.

MICHELLE
So instead you eat a mint?

WALTER
Yeah.

MICHELLE
This is exactly what I’m talking about!

WALTER
Mints?

MICHELLE
No you idiot. You always taking the easiest way out while never thinking of the consequences!

WALTER
Consequences?

MICHELLE
Yes! Think. You have bad breath because of all the bacteria in your mouth right? By eating a mint, which is mostly sugar, you give the bacteria more energy to multiply, which leads to you having worse breath! At best it’ll only give you fresh breath for like twenty minutes.

WALTER
Then I’ll just have another mint.

Michelle stares at him in shock for a beat.

MICHELLE
I can’t tell if you’re lazy, stupid, or both.

WALTER
Just chill out. Who cares if I have to eat mints all day, or if the toothpaste dries out a bit?

MICHELLE
Wait a minute, so you didn’t even brush your teeth?

WALTER
No.

MICHELLE
Yet you still took off, then failed to replace, the cap!

WALTER
I guess.

MICHELLE
You are unbelievable.

WALTER
I know, right?

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