New Haircut

INT. OFFICE BUILDING, DESK CLUMP – MORNING

JOHN (27, the friend you have who always makes you laugh) walks over to his chair, puts his bag down, and sits at his desk. MARY (25, your alternative friend who always gives home made gifts) looks up at John and squeals. He rolls his eyes as she rushes over to him.

JOHN
Alright, let’s get this over with.

MARY
I love your new haircut.

JOHN
And…

MARY
And nothing.

JOHN
Really? From you? I thought your favourite pastime was teasing me?

MARY
No, really, I honestly like it. Can I touch it?

JOHN
Yes, but I should warn you, it’s going to feel like hair.

Mary reaches out and touches John’s hair.

MARY
Wow, you were right. It’s so soft, I think you have nicer hair than me.

CARL (27, the friend you had as a kid who always denied you shot him when playing cops and robbers, and never really out grew that) enters and puts his bag and jacket down at his desk.

CARL
(mockingly)
Oh, nice haircut.

JOHN
Thanks Carl.

CARL
I wasn’t being serious, it’s terrible. You look like a gay lesbian.

JOHN
As opposed to a straight one?

CARL
(thinks)
Yes.

JOHN
Great. That’s the look I was going for.

CARL
You want to look like a lesbian?

JOHN
Yeah, I told the hairdresser I wanted the Ellen.

Mary laughs, Carl takes offense.

CARL
Whatever. You’re such a try hard hipster. Why don’t you get a real man’s haircut. Look at me, short back and sides. It’s what the have in the army.

Carl gives various poses to show off his head. He looks to Mary to gage how impressed she is. She’s holds back laughter.

JOHN
The army, well that is impressive. But are you sure it’s as short as theirs? It’s looking a little long to me.

CARL
(shocked)
What? No it’s not, I see my barber every two weeks.

MARY
I don’t know, I think John may be right. If it gets any longer you two could look like twins.

CARL
What? No!

Carl looks in blank monitor in an effort to see his reflection.

JOHN
Carl, it’s alright, if you want I can give you a haircut right now.

John grabs the scissors from his desk and swings them round on his finger.

CARL Yeah, like I’m going to trust you. John looks across at Mary for support.

MARY
No, Carl, you should let him. He’s even cut my hair before, he’s really good.

CARL
Yeah, not surprising, gay.

JOHN
Oh, so you don’t want a haircut?

John goes to put his scissors away.

CARL
No, no, I do!

John stares at him for a beat.

CARL (CONT’D)
Please.

JOHN
There it is. Alright, come with me.

John wheels his chair into the men’s room. Carl follows him in.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING, DESK CLUMP – LATER

Carl leaves the men’s room, his hair is a hacked away mess. He walks into the office. John exits the men’s room and leans against the door frame.

MARY
Oh wow, Carl, you look so good!

Mary starts an applause, others in the office half heartedly join in. Carl circles back around and struts over to John.

CARL
See, that’s what a real man’s haircut looks like.

JOHN
(smiling)
You showed me.

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