How to get a Loan

INT. MACCALLAN’S BANK, STEWART’S OFFICE – DAY

Two men sit around a metal and glass desk inside a neutral coloured, modern office, with a frosted glass wall, through which we can see the workings of the bank. Behind the desk sits STEWART MANNING (34, friendly, avid leather crafter, lonely) dressed in a fresh grey suit. Across from him sits LOUIS PRESS (34, enigmatic, has been engaged four times) dressed casually.

LOUIS
Sweet office you’ve got here Stewie. Sorry…

Louis points to Stewart’s name plaque.

LOUIS (CONT’D)
Mr. Manning.

STEWART
Heh, thanks Lou. Yeah it’s alright, and this is nice, I don’t get many friends come through here. Speaking of, what can I do for you today?

LOUIS
Well, I was hoping you could give me a “loan”. Louis gives quotation fingers as he says loan.

STEWART
Yeah, of course, I can set you up with a loan. Do you have your credit scores with you?

LOUIS
No, I was more just thinking you would give me the money.

STEWART
Well I can’t, I can’t just give you the money. You need to apply for it and if you meet the criteria I can approve it.

LOUIS
Sure, sure, but we’re friends so we can bypass all that surely.

STEWART
Ah, no. No we can’t bypass it. You, you realise this isn’t my money? It’s the banks.

LOUIS
Yeah, but you’re in control of it. So you can just, kind of, give me some.

STEWART
Okay, well, what it is that you’re describing there is, ummm, stealing.

LOUIS
Sure, okay, I see.

STEWART
Good.

LOUIS
So let’s do that.

STEWART
What?

LOUIS
Steal some money. It can’t be that hard, not with you on the inside.

STEWART
It’s not about it being hard Lou! We can’t just…rob a bank!

LOUIS
Sure we could. Everyone daydreams about how they would put one over their work if they had a chance. Are you telling me you’ve never thought about the best way to rob this place.

STEWART
Okay, yes, maybe, I’ve considered it, but I’m not actually going to do it!

LOUIS
Why not? You’re always complaining about this place, and more to the point you’re always complaining about how boring your life is. This would solve both those problems. The only problem you’d have left is that you’d have nothing to complain about!

Stewart thinks.

STEWART
No, no, we could never do it. We could never get away with it.

LOUIS
Why not? Really think about this Stewie. Think about if we did do it, and got away with it. Not some small loan, but enough money that we’d never have to work again. You could live anywhere.

Stewart looks up at Louis.

LOUIS (CONT’D)
Do anything.

Stewart’s eyes go wide.

LOUIS (CONT’D)
Be anyone.

Stewart’s whole face lights up at that thought. He looks past Louis through the glass to make sure no one is paying attention to them, then takes his phone off the hook.

STEWART
Okay, let’s do it. For my plan to work we’ll need two more people.

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