A Day at the Museum

INT. MUSEUM HALLWAY – DAY

A hip young woman, slurping a juice from a large container, (KATHY, 27) walks down a museum hallway lined with all sorts of art and artifacts. Beside her half skipping/half walking is a small girl (CAROLINE, 10).

CAROLINE
Thanks again for taking me to the museum, Aunty Kathy.

KATHY
Well your Mum did kind of make me. And hey, don’t call me Aunt Kathy alright? Just Kathy or Kath. I feel so old when you throw Aunt in front of it.

CAROLINE
But you are my Aunty.

KATHY
Yeah, so what? I don’t call you niece Caroline do I?

CAROLINE
I guess not. I hadn’t though of it like that. You’re funny Aunt Kathy.

KATHY
Yeah I’m hysterical, and what did I just say?

CAROLINE
Oh, right. Sorry Kathy.
(beat)
It feels weird to say your name without Aunt. It’s like not saying Pluto is a planet anymore.

KATHY
I don’t know how I feel about you comparing me to a celestial body.

CAROLINE
Actually, technically, Pluto’s a dwarf planet.

KATHY
I thought it wasn’t a planet.

CAROLINE
It’s not, it’s a dwarf planet. They’re different. Dwarf planets don’t gravitationally interact with smaller bodies in the same way planets do and therefore don’t clear the neighborhood surrounding them of other bodies of comparable size.

KATHY
Kid, if I don’t want you calling me Aunty I definitely don’t want you talking like that. You’re making me feel stupid over here.

CAROLINE
Oh, I’m sorry.

KATHY
No, don’t be sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just being an arsehole.

Caroline stares at Kathy with a look of shock and excitement.

KATHY (CONT’D)
What?

CAROLINE
You said a naughty word!

KATHY
What? Arsehole? You don’t say that yet?

CAROLINE
No.

KATHY
Oh, well, when you’re with me, you can say it.

CAROLINE
Okay…you arsehole.

Kathy laughs, and so does Caroline.

CAROLINE (CONT’D)
I like hanging out with you, Aunt Kathy. Sorry! Kathy!

KATHY
Ahh don’t worry about it, I guess I am your Aunty. It’s not the worst thing if everyone knows.

Caroline smiles.

KATHY (CONT’D)
Now, why don’t you tell me more of that smart shit you were saying.

Caroline gasps.

KATHY (CONT’D)
What? You don’t say shit either?

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