Bald Heads and Potato Salad

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

DOUG (26) sits at the small table in the kitchen. Doug prepares a potato salad at the table, KEVIN (27, Doug’s room mate) stands over him and bends down to show a spot on his head.

KEVIN
Seriously I think I might be balding.

DOUG
I really don’t want to have this conversation again.

KEVIN
Just tell me, can you see anything here?

DOUG
I see that I don’t care.

Kevin slams his fists onto the table.

KEVIN
DAMMIT DOUGLAS THIS IS IMPORTANT!

DOUG
Don’t call me Douglas, you know I hate that.

KEVIN
Dougie, fine.

DOUG
Just Doug, you know, like you have been for the past ten years.

KEVIN
Fine, whatever, you’re losing track of what’s important here. I might be going bald!

DOUG
Who cares?

KEVIN
WHO CARES!

DOUG
You just spat on me.

KEVIN
This is my life Doug! My livelihood comes from my hair!

DOUG
You’re an electrician.

KEVIN
You think people are going to hire a bald electrician?

Beat.

DOUG
Yes!

KEVIN
It’s fine for you, you got that amazing, thick, Irish hair.

DOUG
Is that a stereotype? I’m not even Irish.

KEVIN
I’m too young to be bald, I’M TOO YOUNG DOUG!

DOUG
You just spat on me again.

Kevin drops into the chair across from Doug, defeated.

KEVIN
I’m only twenty seven and I don’t even have a girlfriend, I don’t want to be going bald yet.

Doug relents.

DOUG
Look Kevin, honestly I don’t even think you are going bald, but even if you were it wouldn’t matter. You’re a good guy, incredibly annoying sometimes, but a good guy that plenty of girls would be interested in. With or without hair.

KEVIN
You really think so?

DOUG
Yes, mate, there is a girl out there who’s going to love you like crazy.

KEVIN
Thanks man.

DOUG
No worries. Here have some potato salad.

Kevin takes a bite.

KEVIN
Oh that is good. You know, for all your faults you make a pretty good potato salad.

DOUG
Thank you?

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