Lie Detector

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

ALBERT HAMMOND (42, always plays the good cop during interrogations) sits behind the reception desk. MARGARET WILKERS (39, business woman/mother) storms into the precinct.

ALBERT
Oh hi-ya Marg, what brings you in today?

MARGARET
Yeah, hi Al, whatever. I’m going to need to borrow your lie detector.

ALBERT
Sorry, what?

MARGARET
Your lie detector. I’m guessing this police station has one. I need you to give it to me.

ALBERT
Oh Margie, I’m sorry. I can’t just give you the lie detector. We’re the police, you know, we don’t really just lend things to people.

MARGARET
Right, right, sure, sure. I’m still going to need it though, so just do whatever you have to to make that happen.

ALBERT
No, I don’t think you understand. It would be a crime for me to lend you police property.

MARGARET
Great. I’m glad that’s sorted, I owe you one. I’ll take the lie detector now.

Albert stands and walks out from behind the desk.

ALBERT
Margie, you seem a little frazzled, why don’t you sit.

MARGARET
I’m not frazzled, I just need that lie detector so if you could hurry it up please.

ALBERT
Why don’t we sit anyway.

Albert leads her to a chair.

ALBERT (CONT’D)
McIntosh, can you take over for a bit.

Another office nods to Albert and takes over at the desk. Albert sits down next to Margaret.

ALBERT (CONT’D)
So, what’s this all about?

MARGARET
It’s nothing, really, I just need your lie detector. I have a couple of questions I want to ask my kids, that’s all.

ALBERT
You want to use the lie detector on the kids?

MARGARET
Well mostly Josie, but while I’ve got it I might as well interrogate the other two as well.

ALBERT
Margie, I really don’t think you should be interrogating your kids.

MARGARET
Well you don’t have to live with my kids. You don’t know what it’s like trying to raise them.

ALBERT
No I-

MARGARET
Josie is in that awful teenage stage I now realise I put my own Mother through. She’s out all night and won’t tell me anything, and when she does I know she’s lying to me. Then, while my back’s turned trying to sort all that out, the other two immediately go off and make trouble. You don’t know what it’s like Al!

ALBERT
You’re right, I don’t know what that’s like. I can’t even imagine how stressful and frustrating that must be for you, but I don’t think hooking your kids up to a lie detector is going to make things any better.

MARGARET
Well at least then I’d have some answers.

ALBERT
True, you would, but you’d also ostracise your kids. You’ll forever be the Mum who forced her kids to take a lie detector test, and you’d never be able to take that back.

Margaret slumps.

MARGARET
You’re right, I know. I’m, I’m just at the end of my rope, Al! I don’t know what to do.

Albert thinks.

ALBERT
Well, why don’t you bring the kids in here. We won’t hook them up to the lie detector, but maybe a walk past the holding cells and a few of my stories might help them realise how good they’ve got it. Maybe get them to pull their heads in a little bit.

MARGARET
Al, that will scare them so much. It’s brilliant.

ALBERT
Hey, what else are the police here for if not scaring kids.

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