Presto Pest-Go – Scene 4

This scene is part of a pilot episode for a sitcom that I wrote as part of my Masters. See past days to catch up on the rest of the episode.

INT. PRESTO PEST-GO WAREHOUSE – DAY

The staff of Presto Pest-Go are huddled around a window looking out at the carpark and watching Prabir as he kneels in front of his car’s side mirror once again talking to himself.

Present are Steve (29, tall, friendly, mostly confident), Rebecca (19, alternative, intelligent), Mandy (late 28, butch, competitive).

REBECCA
He’s weird.

STEVE
He’ll be alright, it’s probably just first day jitters.

REBECCA
Are you serious? He brought a suitcase to an extermination agency, which he’s just dropped and for some reason is full of mini quiches.

Through the window behind them Prabir is on the ground scooping mini quiches into his open suitcase.

STEVE
Okay he’s a little odd, but it’s nice to have a fresh face around here, not to mention another guy, make it less of a taco-fest.

MANDY
I love mini quiches, but lesson 101, delicious savory snacks aren’t going to make you a good exterminator. You should tell him that.

STEVE
How is that lesson 101? And why would I tell him that?

MANDY
You’re right, the best exterminator should tell him. I’ll let him know.

REBECCA
Oh good, the current freak can tell the new freak how to be more freaky.

STEVE
Where did he go anyway?

They all look out the window to see Prabir no longer in the parking lot.

PRABIR
Umm, hello, my name is Prabir.

They all look across to see Prabir standing in the doorway. Steve quickly goes over and shakes his hand.

STEVE
Hello, Squire! Welcome to Pesto Presto. I’m Steve, feel free to ask me any questions you may have. Great suit by the way.

PRABIR
Oh, thank you, you mean that?

STEVE
Yeah, my Dad has one just like it. Let me introduce you around. Alright, over here we have Sandra.

Steve points towards the reception desk where a frumpy, middle aged woman briefly looks up from under her glasses towards them. Prabir waves to her and smiles, Sandra grunts in reply before turning back to her computer.

STEVE (CONT’D)
She will break your heart, that one. Next is Rebecca.

Rebecca looks up from her phone, gives a fake smile, and then goes back to her phone. Prabir struggles to keep his eyes off Rebecca, clearly enamoured by her.

MANDY
You ever killed anything before?

Prabir turns to find himself standing face to face with Mandy.

PRABIR
I umm, accidentally stood on a mouse once. It died. Of course, I cried afterwards.

MANDY
I have taken down a rapid possum in hand to hand combat. Your mouse. I’ve killed him, his family, and his extended family. Including the more obscure second and third cousins. I have terminated more termites, cockroaches and wasps than there are people on this planet. I am not A exterminator I am THE exterminator. I am Mandy, now you know.

Mandy walks away backwards making sure not to lose eye contact with Prabir, knocking over a chair as she goes.

STEVE
So that was Mandy.

FELIX
What’s this! Terrorist! We’ve got a terrorist in the building!

In the doorway stands Felix (45, Italian, slightly over weight, obnoxious) the manager of Presto Pest-Go. He walks over to Prabir laughing overly hard at his own joke.

FELIX (CONT’D)
I’m kidding, I’m kidding. As you know I’m Felix and as I know you’re Pranshmeer.

PRABIR
It’s Prabir actually.

FELIX
Great! Well, welcome to HQ, Proberear. That means headquarters, you’ll pick up on things like that. Have you met everyone? Great! Seen around the place? No? Well we have this palace of a warehouse slash office. Four vans, eight spray canisters, over fourteen traps and some of the finest exterminators going around. All of which combines to make us the best extermination agency in the city!

STEVE
That online poll recently had us as twelfth best.

FELIX
Well, one of the best. Come to my office, Procitir, and we’ll get you started.

Felix leads Prabir towards his office.

REBECCA
How many agencies were in that poll?

STEVE
That would be twelve.

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