Presto Pest-Go – Scene 10

This scene is part of a pilot episode for a sitcom that I wrote as part of my Masters. See past days to catch up on the rest of the episode.

EXT. ANNIE’S FRONTYARD – LATER

Prabir sits on Annie’s front porch. He breaks up one of the mini quiches and throws crumbs of it out to some waiting birds. A Presto Pesto-Go van pulls up. Mandy steps out, she walks towards Prabir, scattering the birds up into the tree above them.

MANDY
So Steve couldn’t handle it and they had to call Mandy in. Typical.

PRABIR
Well he was allergic to the cat. His throat started closing up so he went back to the office to get his epipen.

MANDY
Yeah he’s always been weak. Lucky you, now you get to learn from the best.

A bird drops from the tree and falls to the ground beside them. They both look at it for a beat.

PRABIR
That was weird.

MANDY
Animals just learn to die around me. That would actually make a good promo for my show.

Mandy grabs a trap from the van and places it on the ground. Prabir looks at the trap fearfully.

PRABIR
What show?

Another bird falls from the tree, they once more glance at it, then back at each other.

MANDY
I’m going to host an exterminator reality TV show one day. Already got the name ‘Female Exterminator’.

PRABIR
What about exHERminator?

Beat.

MANDY
That’s better, I’m taking that. And those mini quiches, hand them over.

Another bird drops to the ground. Prabir looks at the bird confused, then looks over to the mini quiches.

The penny drops.

PRABIR
You, you can’t have them.

MANDY
Kid, I’m your boss here alright. If I want to eat mini quiches, I eat mini quiches.

Mandy snatches the briefcase out of Prabir’s grip. Slowly she lifts one towards her mouth.

Prabir watches in unsure agony of what to do. At the last second he smacks the quiches out of Mandy’s hand.

MANDY (CONT’D)
That was a mistake.

Mandy goes to put another quiche into her mouth. Prabir once more shocks himself and smacks it out of her hand.

MANDY (CONT’D)
What are you doing?

PRABIR
I’m sorry, I can’t let you eat them.

MANDY
Well too bad.

Mandy turns away from Prabir and shoves a handful of mini quiches into her mouth.

MANDY (CONT’D)
(mouth full)
I eat what I want, I’m the exHERminator.

Mandy swallows, Prabir watches in horror.

Mandy starts to sway a little, she begins to blink a lot.

MANDY (CONT’D)
What?

Mandy falls back onto the trap and crushes it. She stumbles awkwardly to her feet.

PRABIR
Oh no, oh no, oh no.

Mandy falls face first into the open door of the truck, her face and chest flop down onto the seat, her legs still attempt to hold her up.

Prabir rushes over to her.

MANDY
(slurred)
What happened?

PRABIR
Umm, well, I think I roofied you.

MANDY
You wha…

Mandy’s sentence drifts away and she begins to snore. Prabir looks around panicked. Unsure what to do he finally grabs hold of Mandy’s legs and tries to move them into the truck.

He struggles, gets squashed by them, but eventually gets all of her into the passenger seat and closes the door. He leans against it, eyes wide, breath quick. He turns and looks into the side mirror at himself.

PRABIR
What am I going to do?

To reflection. It shrugs at him.

PRABIR (CONT’D)
I’m doomed, I’m doomed. I’m going to get fired for sure, and arrested, and kicked out of the country. I roofied someone on my first day! How am I supposed to get this cat? Damn Jake, damn his quiches, damn…

Prabir’s words trail off as he looks down at the dropped briefcase and the scattered mini quiches.

Inspiration hits. Prabir grabs a handful of quiches and runs.

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