Introducing the Faery Folk

INT. ELPHAME HOTEL LOBBY – DAY

The camera focuses on a comfortable, red sofa. Enter a stout, hairy man, mid 40’s, clothes and hair dishevealed. He rocks the camera as he walks past it, then settles his large bulk into the sofa, moving around in order to get comfortable and remove his well worn coat jacket from underneath himself. He settles with a sigh and looks into the camera.

INSERT TITLE: REYHOUND HAYES – BANDERSNATCH

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
Mr. Hayes, thanks for joining us.

REYHOUND
(Cockney accent)
Oh that’s no problem, and call me Reyhound.

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
Reyhound, great, well thanks again.

REYHOUND
Yeah. So how does this work? You want to see what I do everyday? Just follow me around?

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
That’s right, you and a few others. Should we get started?

REYHOUND
Sure, ehh, what…what should I say first?

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
How about you start with a little about yourself.

REYHOUND
Alright, well I’m Reyhound Hayes, you already know that, I’m ohh… (he looks up and starts to calculate on his fingers) …about seven hundred and sixty three years old, oh, and I’m a bandersnatch.

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
You’re certainly looking good for your age.

REYHOUND
Well that’s the cloak spell innit. Hides me, you know, so as not to scare anyone. Not that I think I’m scary mind, but the short-lived, they’re not used to the horns or a bit of fur.

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
Short-lived?

REYHOUND
Yeah, mundies…muggles…humans! Anyone not faery folk. Surely you know what we call them.

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
Yeah, but it’s for the camera, just in case any of the audience don’t know the vernacular.

REYHOUND
Oh right, yeah. Well like I was saying the short-lived don’t like me normal look. I think it’s the eyes that really get them…or maybe it’s the teeth. They’re usually too busy screaming if they ever see me to say exactly what it is.

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
May we see your eyes?

REYHOUND
Oh yeah, if you want.

Reyhound’s eyes flash and for a moment they resemble a goats eyes.

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
Very impressive. So does it annoy you to have to hide your appearance?

REYHOUND
I don’t know that it annoys me so much, it’s more…distancing.

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
How so?

REYHOUND
Well nobody ever’s sees the real you do they? They see this…face and this body, but this isn’t me. I might as well be wearing a big mask on my head. Imagine trying to get to know people when you’ve got a paper bag on your head all the time.

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
And you would like that? If people, humans, got to meet the real you?

REYHOUND
Yeah, yeah I’d like that. I think we’d all like to stop hiding. I mean isn’t that what this show’s for? To introduce us to the short-lived?

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
We hope so. Is that the reason why you agreed to do this?

REYHOUND
Yeah.

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
You want them to know you exist?

A wave of melancholy passes over Reyhound’s face as he looks down.

Beat.

REYHOUND
You got any idea what’s it’s like to have no one believe in you?

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