March 8, 2016


The Lady Holly and I will be traveling overseas for 21 days at the end of this month. As we will be letting loose for those 21 days in the white north of Iceland and Norway, as well as the shades of grey that comprise London, we’ve decided to restrict ourselves for the 21 days leading up to this. Basically, eat healthy and drink less beer, or, a diet.

We’re only three days in but already it’s made me realise how much I use food as a means to kill boredom. I often get through my occasionally mundane day by planning what to eat, thinking about eating that thing, then eventually eating it. I honestly don’t know how much time is spent in this activity, a worrying amount of time I’m sure. Perhaps I think about food every three seconds, but if, as common knowledge states, as a male, I’m also thinking about sex every three seconds then those three seconds are filling up fast. Either way if my day is particularly boring, thinking about food becomes the most exciting part of it. Up until the point where thinking about the food stops being entertaining and starts becoming torturously desirable. At which point it’s continual boredom or I eat the unhealthy food. It’s usually the latter. Hence the diet.

Surprisingly, thinking about healthy food doesn’t really provide the same entertainment value. I guess fantasising about a bowl of salad doesn’t release the same dopamine levels as fantasising about a bowl of M and M’s.

I’ve found the best thing for me to do is either stay so busy that I don’t need to rely on thoughts of nachos or maltesers to entertain me. Or, better still, find more superior forms of entertainment. My world is full of amazing, delectable, things to watch, read, and do; things that make eating-as-entertainment seem like the aforementioned bowl of salad. Here’s the plan: I replace thinking about junk food with; fantasising about reading a delicious book, or daydream about that mouth watering TV show I’m going to watch when I get home, or get giddy thinking about some appetising scene I want to write.

I doubt think this will entirely curb my sugar addiction but it should hopefully work to stop me shoving a bag of lollies into my mouth as soon as I get home from work…hopefully.


In other news, I woke up this morning to my phone informing me that my Little London Boy, aka twin brother Jonathan, passed his UK practical nursing exam and can now work as a nurse in the UK. Considering he’s been living there for over six months this is a very good thing. Considering that he’s been trying for close to two years to get this registration complete this is a great thing. Despite having a Bachelor’s of Nursing Degree and working as a nurse in Australia for over five years the UK still made Jonathan jump through a seemingly endless supply of hoops in order to get his registration. This involved corresponding back and forth to London, sending them a bunch of forms by mail, getting his old university to send them a bunch of forms by mail, getting his old university to send them the same forms again after the UK nursing registration board lost the original forms, sitting a four hour English exam despite the fact that it’s the only language he’s ever spoken or written, sitting a three hour theoretical nursing exam, then sitting this final practical exam twice after they failed him the first time for not passing a cotton ball between his hands when swabbing a wound despite the fact that’s actually the more hygienic way to do it, and plenty more steps that I can’t remember. It took him two years, and literally thousands of dollars, thanks to the registration board charging him at every possible step of the procedure (sitting each practical exam cost $2000 each time and then they even charged him for passing it!), but finally he has passed through the last hoop. Massively huge congratulations to him.

Apart from being a nurse Jonathan is also a very talented writer (much better than me). He also has a website where he spins thought provoking and entertaining blogs about his often eye-opening experiences as a nurse, as well as some beautiful pieces of his creative writing. The kids got talent, and while I’m undoubtedly biased, I definitely recommend you check it out.


Lastly I want to show you the jaw dropping guitar mastery of John Butler. I saw this video a while ago of him playing his ever evolving track, Ocean. It’s a masterpiece not just to listen to but also to watch. The guy is a freak of the best kind.

Talk soon.


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